As we celebrate Father’s Day this weekend, I am reminded of the fathers and grandfathers who are elderly and perhaps lonely.
Loneliness is increasingly a social problem. Since 2018, the United Kingdom has appointed a Minister for Loneliness. On May 2, 2023, the USA released an official advisory identifying loneliness as an urgent public health threat with profound consequences. In Japan, some elderly individuals have resorted to crime so they can have the companionship of inmates in jail.
Closer to home, on July 11, 2023, Channel News Asia reported that almost 40 percent of Singaporeans aged 62 years and older reported being lonely in a nationally representative study by Duke-NUS’ Centre for Ageing Research and Education.
And guess what? Entrepreneurs have come up with a “solution” to this loneliness epidemic called rent-a-friend. Scammers are targeting seniors too. In March 2024, an 82-year-old man was targeted by scammers three times in less than two months, narrowly averting a loss of S$3.7 million (US$2.76 million).
Psalm 71:9 (NIV) says, “Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone.”
The roles we play might shift with life phases. The strong, guiding hands of our fathers and grandfathers once held ours as we took our first steps, our first bicycle ride, our first swim and now, it is our turn to offer support as they navigate the later stages of their journey. This role reversal is not just a filial duty but a blessing, a priviledge to give back a fraction of the love and care we have received.
Our elderly fathers and grandfathers struggle with tasks in the later part of their journey. It might be something as simple (to us) as using a smartphone, remembering a name, or climbing a flight of stairs. The frustration they feel is compounded by the loss of independence and the longing for the vitality they once had.
When we see our elderly fathers and grandfathers grappling with a task which seems simple to us, let us remember the countless times they once guided us through with patience and care. When they struggle with new technology or new ways of doing things, teach them with the same patience they showed us as children.
By embracing our elderly fathers and grandfathers with compassion and understanding, we honour their journey and enrich our own. We create a legacy of compassion that transcends generations. The way we treat our elders today sets a powerful example for the younger generation, teaching them the values of honour, respect, patience, and unconditional love.
Practicing the ministry of presence can provide immense comfort and a sense of security. In most times, they only want us to be present. As we take time to listen to their stories and experiences, we honour their past whilst helping to keep their minds active and engaged. As we express love and gratitude to them, we uplift their spirits and bring joy to our own lives.
If you never had a father or had an absent father like me, God will give us grace to care for them. And it is commanded in Exodus 20:12: “Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”
Women of God who are caregivers to your elderly father and grandfather, be blessed on Father’s Day. To all fathers, NCW wishes you a “Blessed Father’s Day”!
Wan Leng Ho
